Senin, 30 Juli 2007

Enjoying Sex as a Big Woman

Elaine is a "fat" female actor, who complains that she is never asked to act out sex scenes. Even though her work is highly respected, and she is often given lead roles, she claims that the audience has been taught that sex with a fat woman is not aesthetic and therefore she is prevented from getting expressly sexual on screen.

At best, Elaine is allowed to appear in bed in an "after-sex" scene, but the covers have to be well pulled up, so that very little flesh is exposed. She is a very alluring woman, but her magic has been decommissioned.

"Fat" is a judgment that varies over time and place. The hotties of 17th century Europe are flabby whales by current European standards. The babes of tribal Africa are known as "big mamas" these days.

One thing is safe to safe: a woman with a size 16 ass is still more likely to enjoy sex if is allowed to feel sexy, and that is usually a projection of her environment and her partner's ideas about the size of sexy.

A big part of having a positive body image when your body appears to come from a separate sub-species to the homosapien runway-model, is internalizing the knowledge that every woman has the right and the capacity for sexual pleasure. That means letting yourself be seen and touched in all your majesty, with all your unique curves.

It also means enjoying your flesh and not resenting it. Knowing that your body can give and receive pleasure, like anyone else, minus a few sharp edges.

And if being lifted or swung from the chandeliers are fantasies you will never be able to realize, know that every individual body has its own hitches. You can more than make up for the downs of gravity by signing up for yoga and improving your suppleness. By the way, that goes for everyone, thin or thick, female or male. There are more than a few karma sutra positions that you may never be perfecting, not of your own making but of your partner's.

Since there are no quick solutions to learning to live in peace with yourself and your body, the way to proceed to a better sex life is by taking some time on your own to find discover the pleasures that your big body can give you. Sexiness and passion may have something to do with sight, but they also have a lot to do with smell, texture, sound and putting it all together for the big show-down.

Think about a philharmonic orchestra. A person waving a wand with his or her back to you may not inspire any particular charm, but once to experience the whole act, the music in motion, not only will you appreciate the joy that they are able to create, but you should learn to feel that excitement the second they come on stage.

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